Daily Prompt: Tunnel Vision – You’ve been given an ability to build a magical tunnel that will quickly and secretly connect your home with the location of your choice – anywhere on earth. Where’s the other end of your tunnel?
The Tunnel to my Alternate
The other end of my tunnel leads to my alternate; the whole and complete me. It will give me the ability to visit the alternate me whenever I please.
Today I am not feeling my worth so I close my eyes and envision my tunnel. I begin walking to the other side for a glimpse of my wholeness. To remember. To be filled.
I feel her.
I see her.
Just a mere glimpse of her, expands me, fills me. Standing in her presence, I am no longer feeling drained. My fear is waning. I am feeling energized. What a gift not to be tainted by life or people are my thoughts. Then she reminds me that it is my choice to allow my existence to be tainted by every circumstance, every word, every thought, every look. It is my choice to allow what stays with me today. “You can do it on the other side” she says. “What you allow in your energy and space is entirely up to you.”
“It is easy when you are alone.” I said softly.
“People are around me just like they are around you on the other side. The reason you can’t see them is because I don’t allow them to permeate my space so they seem invisible to you.” she said.
Looking closer, I can now see what was hidden from my view: the others’ existence around her. “How is this happening?” I ask. She replies “Self-worth is never felt through others but only through the shedding of others. Shedding of their opinions, words, thoughts, and actions. Then they will seize to exist in your world and your energy too.”
You return home to discover a huge flower bouquet waiting for you, no card attached. Who is it from — and why did they send it to you?
I did receive flowers once from a secret admirer, many, many moons ago. I was too young to see or understand this young man’s admiration of me. We were friends and I was blind to his fondness of me. When I received the flowers on Valentine’s Day, I enlisted him in trying to help me find out who sent it. Unbeknown to me, it was from him. When I found out, I was a little embarrassed that I did not see how much he liked and appreciated me.
This post jars my memory and thank you Daily Prompt for that. Others appreciation of us can help us with increasing our self-values. We tend to look for appreciation from the ones who are unable to give it to us and ignore the ones that do. Sometimes, we get caught up in a web of people that cannot give us what we most need. It could be many reasons why they cannot. Maybe because they themselves do not possess the necessary skills or they were never appreciated so they cannot give it to you but the reason is not important. If you take a broader perspective into this entanglement, you will realize that you are caught up in a web of unappreciative people because you do not know how to appreciate yourself. You attract what you are emanating. Staying in this web with the ones who can’t appreciate you is you stifling your own self-values. You are stuck in a pattern. When you begin to see this pattern for what it’s been trying to show you all along (your lack of self-worth), you will detangle yourself.
So, what do you do when you are now aware of this? Turn your focus to the people that are appreciating you for you, you owe yourself that. Basking in the appreciation that you are getting will increase your self-values and you are saying to yourself, “I am worthy and deserving.” Then, you must no longer make yourself available to those who do not see you (even if they are family).
And as you learn to appreciate yourself more, you will learn to appreciate others more. I can’t turn back time and properly appreciate that young man’s attempt to get me to see him but he is no longer a forgotten memory that I shoved in the back of my mind. It has now returned to my awareness so when I need to feel appreciated, I can look at it and remembered that someone saw me!
How others see you will shine light on the way you see yourself.
pingback: Daily Prompt – Secret Admirers