Tunnel Vision to My Alternate

Daily Prompt: Tunnel Vision – You’ve been given an ability to build a magical tunnel that will quickly and secretly connect your home with the location of your choice – anywhere on earth. Where’s the other end of your tunnel?

The Tunnel to my Alternate

The other end of my tunnel leads to my alternate; the whole and complete me. It will give me the ability to visit the alternate me whenever I please.

Today I am not feeling my worth so I close my eyes and envision my tunnel. I begin walking to the other side for a glimpse of my wholeness.  To remember. To be filled.

I feel her.

I see her.

Just a mere glimpse of her, expands me, fills me.  Standing in her presence, I am no longer feeling drained.  My fear is waning. I am feeling energized.  What a gift not to be tainted by  life or people are my thoughts.  Then she reminds me that it is my  choice to allow my existence to be tainted by every circumstance, every word, every thought, every look.  It is my choice to allow what stays with me today.  “You can do it on the other side” she says. “What you allow in your energy and space is entirely up to you.”

“It is easy when you are alone.” I said softly.

“People are around me just like they are around you on the other side.  The reason you can’t see them is because I don’t allow them to permeate my space so they seem invisible to you.” she said.

Looking closer, I can now see what was hidden from my view: the others’ existence around her. “How is this happening?” I ask.  She replies “Self-worth is never felt through others but only through the shedding of others.  Shedding of their opinions, words, thoughts, and actions.  Then they will seize to exist in your world and your energy too.”

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Now fly, Now fly

The Female Chaffinch

Photo credit: Dreamstime © Marilyn Barbone

 

“Sometimes you even have to let go of the one’s you love so you can soar or you’ll always live as if your wings are broken.”  ~ Kadian R Grant

Interpreting Life’s Interruptions

My son and I pushed, pulled and lifted our old big screen television into my minivan to haul it off to the dump and I was feeling excited about getting rid of old things. While loading up another old television, metals from my previous business, a broken chair and other objects, I was feeling the moment and the space that’s being cleared and created for newness to arrive.  And off we went.

When we arrived at the dump site, it was looking vacant with some containers closed shut and others filled.  I began to wonder if I got the days mixed up. “Are they closed?” I asked rhetorically but my son answered not knowing what kind of question it was, “I don’t know.” Then a man approached my car and asked “What do you have?” “Electronics and metals”, I replied. “Oh so sorry, the electronics container is full for today, you have to come back another day” he said.

Leaving in dismay and thinking how hard we worked to get the stuff in my van, then have to return home, unload it, reload another day, and return to the dump site, I can feel my upset and disappointment. Then I started to voice what I was feeling. “This is just super. I don’t understand, blah, blah, blah”, as I complained about the situation I was in.

Unable to bear it any longer, my son turns to me and said “Mom, I am very happy right now. I’ve been happy all week and I want to stay happy. Just leave the TV in the car and on Saturday we can come back and dump it. It’s really not a big deal.”

Have you ever had such an interruption that you didn’t know how to respond so you just kept silent? Yeah, it was one of those moments for me. So, in my silence I decided to interpret what was happening even though I was feeling defensive for a minute because my son didn’t agree with me or partake in my rant. Wow! I thought. Life just interrupted my spewing and this was a teaching moment for me being given by a 19 year old. As I shifted gears and decided to be a student for a moment, I realized how I was making such a big deal out of something so small. “Is this worth descending my happiness ladder?” The answer an absolute, resounding NO! I turned to my son and said “You’re right honey, this is not worth me losing my happiness and endangering yours. So thank you for reminding me that being in a happy state was more important.”

As we drove the rest of the way home, I listened attentively to my son talk about how great his week has been. We laughed, I congratulated him on his victories and felt grateful for our time together.

interpreterLarger interruptions are more noticeable such as a death, a serious illness, or job loss.  But if we can notice the tinier interruptions, the ones that trigger our defenses to go up then we can let our defenses down slowly so we can find out what we ought to learn in the moment.  This will help us change not only our state of being but will allow us to get to know ourselves more deeply.  When someone doesn’t share your view on something, you can become defensive and disagreeable which is normal for most people but that’s when you need to pay attention. Life is interrupting. Become an interpreter and try to find out what it is saying to you? Calling you towards? Showing you?  Because life is always, always calling you towards a higher state of being.

Thanks my son.